Do you ever suffer from self-pity? When someone says, ‘count your blessings’ do you want to crush their head in a vice and say, ‘how’s that for blessings!’
Why do we have this great propensity for self-pity? Maybe so that over a period of say, sixty-three years, we can slowly come to realise that it is the most useless piece of shit ever conceived of by man. It doesn’t solve anything. Name one instance where self-pity did one human being one ounce of good ever? Yet! We keep trying it.
Here’s the rationale behind that.
OK! It got me nowhere for the last sixty-three years, four months and two days but I’m going to try it one more time in case those previous experiments were flawed.
I begin by focusing on the weak points of my situation hoping that correcting those will stop the whole thing from falling apart. But often when trying to fix what is beyond my scope I begin to believe that the world is unfair. That’s when the insanity of self-pity sets in.
I’m calling repetitive self-pity insane because, ‘continuing to do the same thing under the same conditions while expecting different results’ is cuckoo land.
Here’s the sad part lest we think self-pity costs nothing. While I’m bemoaning a door slamming in my face I continue to stand outside that door looking at it whilst another over my left shoulder has opened wide – just out of my peripheral vision. That’s the pattern of self-pity.
I am working with some very, very talented people. Very, very, very talented people! Did I mention that they are very talented? Good! I didn’t want you to miss that. This talent is showing big because they have learned to trust what is inherent in them – and so it blossoms.
My duties working with these wonderful people include being the coach, the writer, the producer, the director, the impresario and the worrier-in-chief. You probably have a similar list ending with that ‘inevitable’ worrier-in-chief role.
Here’s a wild but very sane suggestion. Why don’t you and I replace the role of worrier-in-chief with cheerleader-in-chief. We cheer for ourselves and our team like we cannot lose and drop self-pity from the bench, from the squad, from life – it was never on our side anyway. It’s an interloper from the opposition. Send it home. Replace it with that quiet and purposeful player – PATIENCE.
Did you know that ‘infinite patience brings immediate results’? Next time you see me in a self-pitying mode remind me of that. “Infinite patience” has the exact opposite effect of self-pity. And even if it takes all day for me to get that into my head – I’m willing to wait.